Court Places Value of a Penis at $795,000

by Dick George…

BUCHAREST, Romania - A court has ordered a Romanian surgeon to pay $795,000 in compensation to a patient whose penis he accidentally severed during an operation. In July 2004, Dr. Naum Ciomu made a surgical error while operating on the man’s testicles, severing the penis instead of making an incision to the testicle. The Bucharest Magistrates Court ruled Friday that Ciomu had been “superficial” in his approach to the operation, ordered the fine and handed Ciomu a one-year suspended prison sentence.

A piece of muscle from the man’s arm has now been attached to where his penis was, but its function is aesthetic. “You don’t have to be an expert to realize that the 33-year-old victim does not have a good state of mind,” said Mihai Olariu, the victim’s lawyer.

Here’s what you can get for $795,00

• A 52-foot yacht
• Four front row season tickets to the new Yankee Stadium (actually you’d still be 13 grand shy)
• A cottage in Cabbagetown

You can’t even get Raycroft for a season…So even if the court could award you a billion dollars,  what’s the point of being a billionaire if your schlong is made up of “aesthetic” arm muscles.