by Eric Warren… The Toronto Maple Leafs lead the league in “shots per game” with an average of 34.7 shots on goal. That doesn’t include those that missed.
Dwayne Roloson absolutely stole the show last night for the visiting Islanders, as the Leafs peppered 61 shots on the visiting goal tender in a 4-3 OT loss at the ACC.
While Roloson, now 40, is enjoying a resurgence of sorts in the Big Apple, we aren’t here to recap last nights game.
As I stated before, the Toronto Maple Leafs lead the league in shots on net per game, with an average of 34.7 per. However, they are near the bottom when it comes to goal per game, sitting in 23rd place with an average of 2.54 goals per game.
If we were talking New Jersey Devils , that number would be spectacular. (The Devils are actually in 20th at 2.62 per game.)
The obvious issue isn’t the amount of shot’s the Leafs are taking, nor is is really the amount of goals they are scoring, a good defensive team can win with those kind of numbers.
No, my friends, the issue is, the Leafs can’t seem to keep the puck out of their own net. With a GA/PG average of 3.64, good enough for last in the NHL, any team with a respectable defense would be chomping at the bit to play this club.
One of the obvious reason for this disparity is goal tending. Although Vesa Toskala has certainly started to turn his game around over the last couple of starts and has stopped 48 of 52 shots, better, but still not good enough.
The argument could be made however that for the most part he is stopping shots that he should be now whereas, a week ago, that probably wouldn’t have been the case.
Gustavsson , on the other hand, looks like he is on a bit of a down turn. He looked, like Nik Antropov in net last night. Really big, but a little slow, and a little awkward. He seems to have lost a little bit of confidence. I would expect to see him in goal for Friday’s game.
While the Leafs did well to limit the Islanders in shots last night allowing only 21, the team defense is still allowing too many chances down low.
I know, you’re going to say,” Toskala should have had that shot by Tambellini .” Well you may be right, but I’ve never been on the receiving end of a shot from him so it’s hard to say really.
All the Leafs have to do, is keep playing the way they are for the most part. The defensive zone coverage has to be a bit better, and a bit faster. The Leafs defense has got to start racing for the puck in their zone if they can’t keep it from getting in, but having said that, they also need to start standing the opposition up at the blue line more.
There are still a lot of changes coming for this team, with them seemingly playing a little better, even with the loss’s, Burke and Wilson will have to be careful to not rock the boat too much all at once.
By Mark “The Hard Hitter” Ritter… Recently, I came across some pretty good one liners directed towards the Toronto Maple Leafs and their fans. I hate to be the one to kick a dog when it’s down, but I just couldn’t resist.
Clearly, with the Leafs yet to win a game and everything seemingly going wrong, these one liners can bring a smile to the Leaf Nation and their haters alike…..
Q: What’s the difference between a fat chick and the Leafs?
A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while…
Q: What’s the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a cigarette vending machine?
A: The vending machine has Players!
Q: What’s the difference between a fat chick and the Leafs?
A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while…
Q: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
A: They both look good until they hit the ice.
Q: What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and whales have in common?
A: They both get totally confused when surrounded by ice.
Q: Why are the Toronto Maple Leafs like Canada Post?
A: They both wear uniforms and don’t deliver!
Q: Why doesn’t Hamilton have an NHL team?
A: Because then Toronto would want one…
Q: What do the Toronto Maple Leafs, Toronto Argonauts and the Toronto Blue Jays all have in common besides being based in Toronto ?
A: None of them can play hockey.
Q: What do you call 25 millionaires around a TV watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs?
A: The Toronto Maple Leafs.
Q: What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 20,000 people stand up and yell ‘Jesus Christ’.
Q: How do you keep the Toronto Maple Leafs out of your yard?
A: Put up a goal net.
Q: What do you call a Toronto Maple Leaf with a Stanley Cup ring?
A: A thief.
Q: Where is the safest place to leave your naked wife?
A: With the Leafs, they can’t score…
Q: What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Q: How many Toronto Maple Leafs does it take to win a Stanley Cup?
A: Nobody knows…And we may never find out.
Dog Tricks:
This guy says to the bartender, “Can my dog and I watch the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey game here? My cable is out, and my dog and I always watch the game together.”
The bartender replies, “Normally, dogs wouldn’t be allowed in my bar, but it’s not very busy right now, so you and the dog can have a seat at the end of the bar. But, if there’s any trouble with you or the dog, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”
The guy agrees, and he and his dog start watching the game. Pretty soon, the Leafs manage to score a goal and the excited dog jumps up on the bar, barks loudly, does a back flip and runs over to the bartender and gives him a high-five .
The bartender says, “Wow, that’s pretty cool! What does he do when they win a game?”
The guys answers, “No idea, I’ve only had him for 3 years.”
Some things will never change:
The last time the Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup most of their fans were in diapers.
Coincidentally, the next time they win it those same fans will be back in diapers again!
by Dustin Pollack… For me, summertime is the most boring time of the year when it comes to the sports world, because quite frankly, I can’t get my mind invigorated in the game of baseball.
But since baseball takes over summer like anabolic steroids takes over baseball players, there isn’t much left for me to watch other then poker and bowling.
Not taking anything away from tennis and golf, but what kept me entertained in sports this summer was all the drama that occurred both on and off the playing field in all sports.
It’s like MTV came in and said that the sports world needed to spice things up for the slow moving summer.
So the same people who brought you The Hills and Laguna Beach decided to bring a show that would just encompass all the sports world had to offer in the summer of 2009 in one six episode mini series called, Lying, Cheating, Stealing and Killing Dogs…The Life of a Pro Athlete.
Episode 1: Homeless
In the heat of NHL free agency, one story seemed to be recurring day after day.
Dany Heatley demanded to be traded from the Ottawa Senators early in July. Despite the shock felt from Senators GM Bryan Murray, he found an offer for Heatley that would move him to the Edmonton Oilers. The trade failed to go through because Heatley rejected it. Close to two months later Heatley is still searching for a new home, but for now he’s stranded in Ottawa. If I were him, I wouldn’t want to step foot in the Senators’ dressing room.
Leaving Heatley nothing, but homeless.
Episode 2: Caught Shooting Up
The Major League Baseball steroid saga has gone from crazy to outlandish. First Roger Clemens then Andy Pettitte, then A-Rod, Manny, and now David Ortiz.
Ortiz was among what is now known as “The list” of over 100 players who tested positive for performance enhancing drugs in 2003. Thus raising the question again: Who isn’t on steroids?
Episode 3: Cabbie
Just weeks ago Patrick Kane of the Chicago Blackhawks was arrested along with his cousin in his hometown of Buffalo, NY after allegedly assaulting a cab driver for 20 cents.
The cab fare was apparently $13.80 and Kane and his cousin handed the driver $15. When the driver only handed them back $1 in change, the two assaulted the driver over the 20-cent difference.
Kane is set to make $875,000 this season with a $2.85 million bonus.
Episode 4: Second Chances
We’ve been waiting for almost two years to see if a team would give Michael Vick a chance, after he was released from prison for upholding a dog-fighting ring within his own home.
Well despite what the dog lovers of Philadelphia may think, the Eagles have taken a chance on Vick signing him to be the backup for quarterback Donovan McNabb. Time will tell if Vick still has the jaw dropping speed and agility that once made him an elite NFL quarterback.
Episode 5: Back yet Again
After all the speculation, Brett Favre has once again decided to stick around the NFL for another season, this time with the Minnesota Vikings. I personally think it’s enough already, hasn’t the guy tarnished his legacy enough?
Episode 6: He She
To close out the summer of scandals, my personal favorite, is Caster Semanya: man or woman?
Semanya won the gold medal for South Africa in the women’s 800 meter at the World Athletic Championships in Berlin on Aug. 19. But her deep voice and manly build left people asking whether she was actually a woman, literally. Semanya is now being tested by a team of doctors to figure out if shes really a woman.
There were other dramatic moments this summer like San Jose Sharks Patrick Marleau’s captaincy being stripped, and Michael Beasley of the Miami Heat checking into a rehab center, however, the show writers didn’t have enough room to mention everything in the six episode arc that MTV gave the mini series.
The sad part about all this summer drama is the real sports action falls by the waste side, and their were some fantastic moments this summer. Y.E Yang became the first Asian born male golfer to win a major title defeating Tiger Woods at the PGA Championship, Roger Federer and Andy Roddick relinquished their rivalry in one of the most epic Wimbledon finals ever, and Usain Bolt broke yet another world record.
Forget Semanya somebody should test him, because there is no way Bolt is human.
By Jeremy Visser… Sunday was Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals, and admittedly, I didn’t watch it. However, I did flip to the game a few times during commercial breaks of the MTV Movie Awards and noticed a striking similarity between comedic genius Andy Samberg and some guy on the Pens named Sidney Crosby. Actually, I’d noticed it a few months ago when Crosby’s touching Tim Hortons commercial came out and Samberg was still known to me as the “Jizz in my Pants” guy, but I wasn’t reminded of it again until tonight. Apparently I’m not the only brilliant young mind to take note of the similarity…
By Martin Avery… The excitement builds as The Battle Of Ontario could feature the 28th place Phoenix Coyotes competing with the 24th place Toronto Maple Leafs and the 22nd place Ottawa Senators in the 30 team National Hockey League.
Ever since there was even the slightest hint that RIM/Blackberry billionaire Jim Balsillie wanted another NHL franchise in southern Ontario, there have been lots of suggestions about what the team should be called when it moves to Hamilton.
The team was called the Winnipeg Jets before it became the Phoenix Coyotes, so it doesn’t have to be called the Hamilton Coyotes. It could be called the Hamilton Jets.
According to many hockey media outlets, Jim Balsillie has offered $212.5 million to purchase the Phoenix Coyotes if he can move them to Ontario.
There is some controversy over locating the team halfway between the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Buffalo Sabres.Some say that instead of relocating the Coyotes to Southern Ontario, they should either move it back to Winnipeg or perhaps start fresh in Quebec City.
Others say another location in southern Ontario would work, such as Kitchener-Waterloo, where Balsillie’s BlackBerry offices are located, or Vaughan, just north of Toronto.
Jim Young of The Arizona Republic suggests a good name for the new team would be The Golden Horseshoes. That might bring them some luck!
I like the name Hamilton BlackBerries. How about the Hamilton Steelers?
An unsigned column in The Cheap Seats suggested the team could be called the Vaughan Sprawl or the Vaughan Mauls. If they go to Hamilton, call them the Hammer.
Hamilton is affectionately called the Hammer by many people including prospective owner, Balsillie.
Jack Porter, came up with a lot of names, including: North Toronto Coyotes, Toronto Seneca or Mohawk,The Hamilton Steel Workers, and The Golden Horseshoe Mustangs.
The Hamilton Tigers was the name of Hamilton’s original NHL franchise, back in the 1920s. They played in the NHL from 1920 – 1925. After the 1919–20 season, when they finished last in the NHL with a horrible record of four wins and twenty losses in 24 games, the NHL took the Quebec Bulldogs franchise and sold the team to the owner of an ice company in Hamilton.
The Hamilton Bulldogs play in the American Hockey League.
Hamilton Mohawks might be too much like the Chicago Blackhawks.
One person, who wants to remain nameless, suggests that if the team stays in Phoenix, they should be renamed the Bettman Bulls.
By Mark Ritter… Toronto Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke surprised us all on Tuesday when he came out and said he would be going after John Tavares and the number one pick in this years entry draft. Some think Burke is crazy, there is no way he could possibly land Tavares. I mean, Tavares is the all-time leading scorer in OHL history, better than Wayne Gretzky, better than Eric Lindros, better than, well, everyone.
From the outside looking in the majority of you are right, Burke is dreaming, but, and it’s a big “BUT”, consider this for a second, the winner of the draft lottery was the New York Islanders, a once proud franchise that, for the most part anyways, has made more stupid decisions in the past twenty years than any other NHL franchise. Consider for the moment that the Islanders have traded away such stars as Olli Jokinen, Roberto Luongo, Brian McCabe, Todd Bertuzzi, just to name a few. Hell, they even traded down in last years draft, letting the Leafs steal defenseman Luke Schenn! When you consider the quality of players the Islanders have traded away you have to be alarmed at what little talent they have on their current roster. This franchise is goofy to say the least, history has taught us, with the Islanders anything is possible.
With all that in mind I think it is safe to say that Brian Burke will be contacting Islanders GM Garth Snow, may not happen today, in fact, it’s not likely to happen until after the playoffs, but when it does, I envision the conversation going a little bit like this….
Ring…Ring…..Ring……..
Garth Snow- Hello?
Brian Burke- Yeah, Garth? This is Brian Burke….
GS- I have been expecting your call…
BB- It’s not what you think, I am not looking to take Rick Dipietro off your hands…
GS- Well that’s good Brian, we still like that deal, in fact, we envision DiPietro being a major contributor next season…
BB- Ahh huh, (Think’s to himself- yep, Garth must be high)
BB- Well Garth, the real reason I am calling is to discuss that number one pick you have
GS- We have what now?
BB- Yeah, well…ummm, Garth, back in April your team won the draft lottery, as such you have the rights to the number one pick in this years entry draft…
GS- Hey that’s great Brian (Think’s to himself- I wonder if I can sucker this guy into trading up again..hehehe…), so what’s up?
BB- Well, I have been looking over the draft, and from what I can tell JT would be a bad fit for your team…
GS- Really? How so?
BB- Well, JT is talented, he has the heart of a lion, he’s wicked good in the slot and from what we can tell he’s a natural born leader…From everything we can see this kind of player goes completely against everything you have been trying to do on the Island…
GS- I couldn’t agree with you more Brian, I have watched JT on television, he doesn’t look like much of a hockey player to me, he’s a hell of a singer though, and he’s down with that Jackson girl, she’s no good Brian, we don’t want problems here …..
BB- (Thinking to himself- what an idiot, he thinks I am talking about Justin Timberlake..) Umm, Great observation there Garth. Listen, I know you were disappointed with the deal you made at the draft with Leafs GM Cliff Fletcher last year, nobody feels worse for you than I do Garth, really. Hey…uhhh, what would you say if I tried to make it up to you???
GS- Man, I could really use some luck around here Bri, what did you have in mind?(Thinking to himself- maybe I can land Schenn this year???)
BB- Well, remember that Schenn kid we selected in the five slot in last years draft?
GS- Sure do, he’s got mad talent…
BB- Sure does, we love the kid…Well, Garth…I wanted to propose a trade with you that would all but guarantee you a chance to draft Schenn…
GS- Really Bri? I am listening…
BB- Ok, so here’s the thing, we would like to get our hands on that number one pick that you got there, in return we would be willing to send you our number one goaltending prospect Justin Pogge, we will also send you 2 second round draft picks in this years draft and our first round (Seventh overall) draft choice in this years draft and our first round draft pick in next years darft….
GS- How does that guarantee us Schenn?
BB- Have you looked at the Central Scouting listings?
GS- Sure have
BB- Ok, so you noticed who is in the seven slot then? It’s Brayden Schenn, he’s a helluva player Garth…
GS- So, what your say’in is, if I took your deal I could get a goalie who actually has some talent, I could take a flyer on a player or two in the second round, a get your first round pick in next years draft (Thinking to himself- The Leafs sucked this year, and they are gonna suck next year too, that’s twp great first rounders) and I could right the wrong I made in last years draft and land a Schenn, a real Schenn???? (Thinking to himself- I can’t believe this guy is going to let Schenn go, what an idiot!)
BB- Listen Garth, you are bang on! It’s killing me to give up on Pogge (Thinking to himself- that kid lets more through his legs than a porn star in a gang-bang scene) and as I stated before, we love that Schenn kid…..
GS- (Thinking to himself- I am going to be sick to my pants…I am going to land a Schenn!!!!!)…Well Bri, I like the deal, do you think you could throw something else into it though??? (Thinking to himself, man am I slick….)
BB- (Thinking to himself- I am going to be sick to my pants if I don’t land Tavares)…Yeah, I think I could send you another player in return, ever heard of Evgeni Malkin?
GS- Sure have…great player!
BB- He is a great player, and we have his old linemate on our team, his name is Nikolai Kulemin, and we’d be willing to throw him into the deal….(Thinking to himself, I wonder if he’s gonna fall for all that “Used to play with Malkin” crap like we did???)
GS- So, let’s be clear here, we get Evgeni Malkin’s Linemate too??? (Thinking to himself, what a moron, Sidney Crosby plays with Malkin most nights, not Kulemin…hahaha, I got this sucker just where I want him)
BB- You got it Garth, for you buddy, anything, who loves you baby???
GS- Ok, there’s just one more thing…(Thinking to himself- I am gonna make this sucker beg, just like in that movie)…Brian, I want you to say “Show me the money”
BB- What? Are you serious Garth?
GS- Say it! “Show me the money”
BB- (In a soft tone) “Show me the money”
GS- Nah nah, Brian… that just ain’t good enough! Now say it like you mean it…NOW!
BB- (in a loud, yet cautious voice) “Show me the money!”
GS- Better, but it still ain’t on point, now for the last time, say it like your life depended on it Bri, let me hear it- Come on, hit me Brian….
BB- (Enthusiastically) “SHOW ME THE MON-NEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
GS- Ok, ok, I think you’ve earned the pick, you’ve got yourself a deal. It’s been nice doing business with you…(Thinking to himself- what a dumb-ass!!!)
BB- Thanks Garth, you drive a hard bargain…(Thinking to himself- what a dumb-ass!!!) Great doing business with you too…Well, until next year, right?
GS- Later Brian, good luck with JT…maybe he can sing at your home opener?
BB- I am sure he will make Leaf fans sing for years to come…….
And with that the deal was consummated, Burke acquires the number one pick and John Tavares becomes a Toronto Maple Leaf, who’da thunk it???
By Mike Allder… With the Toronto Maple Leafs closing the 2008/09 season, the team has announced the signing of two Russian players to long term contracts.
Igor Summeroff and Alexi Teeoff are expected to join the team this fall at training camp in Toronto.
by Ian Hunter… For some reason, there’s something satisfying about walking away with a free trinket after spending over $100 dollars at the ballpark. And I don’t mean the five-finger discount at the Jays Shop, I mean legitimately bringing home a free souvenir from a Blue Jays Giveaway Day. Although many of us are very excited about receiving our Blue Jays Webkinz, let’s take a look at some of the giveaway days that didn’t make the cut.
Blue Jays Snuggie Giveaway
I can’t take total credit for this ingenious idea, but I did pick up the suggestion from another Blue Jays fan. Imagine 10,000 fans draped in their official Toronto Blue Jays Snuggie! Since the commercial even suggests that it’s completely normal to wear these at sporting events, why not take the lead make this a giveaway day? Maybe instead of the 7th inning stretch, fans can participate in a mid-game Gregorian chant.
Aramark Vendor T-Shirt Giveaway
At this giveaway, the first 15,000 fans would be given a free yellow Aramark t-shirt so they could all look like their most famous former employee Wayne McMahon. Hilarity would ensue after everybody assumes every body is a beer vendor, and fights erupt mostly in the 500 level.
Aaron Hill Concussion Bobble Head Giveaway
Aaron Hill may not recall his famous collision with David Eckstein last season, but you can remember it for years to come with this commemorative bobble head.
Surprisingly enough, the Blue Jays instead chose to have a Lyle Overbay bobble head giveaway day on April 19th. Here’s just a quick suggestion to the Blue Jays marketing department; maybe don’t have a promotional day focused on a player who has been talked about in the off-season as being trade bait. Maybe that way, we can avoid the whole Frank Thomas bobble head day fiasco.
J.P. Ricciardi Disguise Giveaway Day
Since fans constantly enjoy criticizing the Blue Jays GM’s every move, they can spend a day inside his nose during J.P. Ricciardi Disguise Giveaway Day. If this giveaway day is held on a Wednesday, fans will be welcome to answer questions on “Wednesdays with J.P.”, but must be done with a Boston accent. Not pictured here, also comes with three pairs of wrap-around sunglasses and striped polo shirt.
The excitement builds as The Battle Of Ontario could feature the 28th place Phoenix Coyotes competing with the 24th place Toronto Maple Leafs and the 22nd place Ottawa Senators in the 30 team National Hockey League.
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